All I Want for Christmas...

is: some consistent sunshine, a cheaper room to stay in here in Koh Samui and a box of Christmas Chocs!

A new chapter in my travels has started this week. My first without my travelling compadre Nick who has flown back to Blighty for a few weeks to be with his girlfriend - a new world... maybe I'd have to think for myself!

I took a night train from Bangkok, I was expecting a party but got to sit opposite the most tired Japanese man in history. The train pulled away and the sleeper beds were dropped. I got chatting to a guy and before I knew it I was drinking beers for the road (track). Around 7am the next morning we got in to our destination and transferred via Bus to the ferry port. The Sun rose, but sadly couldn't see past the clouds... again.

I boarded the goodship Koh Samui, and before I knew it I was listening to iPod whilst cruising past the surrounding trees. I got to talking to a few people and as conversation developed the sea got noticeably rougher. Then, the front of the boat was raising up by huge amounts... and then dropping the same. Repeat many times over, and 90 mins later - you have a green faced Luke checking out the Starboard bow.

Bah. Not a great start to my Koh Samui experience, but luckily I was able to bypass the usual pack of taxi drivers and jump straight in my personal escort service provided by Andy (from Laos) and Flee; his friend.

The rain eased off and I got to take a dip in the warm sea. The evening time, we drank away our issues with the weather and slept through the ensuing poor days weather.

The following day we hit Chaweng beach - the only one famed on Samui for its surf. I rented a board and then proceded to get a lesson taught to me that not all the worlds waves are as lame as Newquays! 6ft waves battered myself and Andy as we tried our best to get up on top. I was well happy to ride out a couple of waves. After dropping the boards back, we took time out to take a freestyle battering from the waves. The picture you see is 50% humour and about 75% actual fear ;)

***

Christmas, was approaching fast. I recieved plenty of Christmassy themed emails which pretty much reminded me that I was about to miss a Blighty Chrimbo. We made our contingency plan. Presents. Champagne Breakfast. Surfing. 3 course Christmas Dinner. Get in.

Christmas Eve was planned to be a quite tepid affair. We figured we'd party hard on Christmas day, so we arrived in town and played chess while watching a local live band play. A few drinks went down, then some dinner, before we knew it we were in the busiest part of Lamai beaches main strip... I couldn't wait for Christmas - mainly due to my huge cake of 1000 firecrackers I'd bought especially to mark midnight. Taxi's swerved as the explosions blew up thousands of pieces of Red confetti.

Inside the club we went and boogied to a few Christmas tunes with a bucket load of other Westerners.

***

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a cockroach;
The stockings were hung by the ceiling fan with care,
In hopes that good weather soon would be there;
Luke was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of bikini babes danced in his head;
And Mimiaow in her 'kerchief, and I in my Burberry cap,
Had just settled down for a long drunken nap,
When out on the beach there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see who'd let off stupidly loud chinese fireworks.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen torrential rain
Gave the lustre of early morn to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a beer bottle, and eight tiny shots
With a little old brew, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be the barman from the pub we just left...
I hadn't paid my bill and he chased for the thrill.

***

Apologies for the brief poetic interlude there - it's now 1.51am on Boxing day and I thought I'd try and be a little festive.

So Christmas morning arrived and we put to work our purchases. A lovely champagne breakfast overlooking the aqua coloured seas. The sun was shining hard, though the horizon painted a grimmer picture. Dark skies and low pressure followed and before we knew it we were surfing in the pouring rain.

The surf was much lower than previously, so we soon got bored and decided to push on with our pre-booked Christmas 3 course dinner. Satay Chicken, Spring Rolls and Potato/Pork balls got the tradition (!) underway, quickly followed by turkey, Yorkies, piggie in blankets, peas, carrots, stuffing, roast potatoes and gravy. The meal was huge and had all of us beat.

The afternoon was then spent in the 80's tradition of watching a Star Wars movie - Return of the Jedi; with poorly translated subtitles - made it stupidly funny.

Some Apple & Blueberry Pie and ice cream complemented the meal well. All was left to do was call our families, drink some Brandy... and then drink some more beer.